Breaking News: State of Michigan to Officially Re-name Lake St. Clair, “Lake Pepsi” !?!?!?!? What the hell kind of name is that? Corporate branding has gotten out of control!

Rick Snyder drinks Pepsi (does he drink Flint Water, too?) and he has been pushing to rename Lake St. Clair, America’s busiest freshwater lake, located just north of Detroit.

In a devastating press conference today, Pepsi spokesman I.P. Freely said, “Renaming Lake St. Clair “Lake Pespi” is a good partnership venture between Michigan and Pepsi. This re-branding will revitalize America’s #1 party lake.”

“Pepsi helicopters will regularly drop free bottles of Pepsi in mini parachutes down onto the boat parties around Gull Island and Muscamoot Bay.”

We will follow this story all day and every April Fool’s Day as it develops.