“Are you ready for some hardcore midget violence!?!?!” the announcer, Special K (a towering brute in red suspenders and red bowtie) screams into the microphone. The crowd goes wild and begins chanting “Mid-gets, mid-gets, mid-gets!”
The Captain and I are on the 2nd floor inside St. Andrews Hall (431 E. Congress, Detroit). The place is packed with about 1,000 other spectators. This is our first midget wrestling event.
Yes, we’ve heard of the bar “sport” of dwarf-tossing but nothing as insane as midgets getting hit in the face with cookie sheets and trash can lids and leaping off the top rope.
This event is courtesy of the Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation, a group founded in 1968 and currently owned by Skylar Ward.
The “golden era of midget wrestling” is widely considered to be the 1950’s with fighters like Fuzzy Cupid, Sky Low Low, Little Tokyo, Haiti Kid, etc. However, midget wrestling is making a comeback. And the shows are getting bigger and bloodier than ever!
The midgets battle in a small 12 x 12 ring in a contest to see who’s the baddest midget. Welcome to Suplex City.
Lil’ Nasty, the first midget comes out, in Canadian flag underwear heckles the crowd then exclaims, “You’re not sick enough to put up with my midget violence!”
He battles Lil’ Lamppost from Dallas and things only get crazier from there. Lil Rampage gets DDT’ed. Little Show leaps off the turnbuckle, crushing his opponents face.
Fans are going wild, screaming “That’s illegal! No manager interference! Is he gonna go top rope!?!?”
World champion, King Midget, a black midget with an afro comes out and the event quickly becomes a 7-midget rumble, a battle royale.
List of Favorite Midget Wrestling Moves we witnessed in Detroit:
Clothesline, Texas Cloverleaf, Nutbuster, Cactus Elbow, Stomach Claw, Single Leg Boston Crab, Samoan Drop, Tarantula Leglock, Frog Splash (off the top rope), Bite the Curb elbowdrop, The Crimson Piledriver, The Faygo Vertebreaker (invented tonight in Detroit for Detroit fans!)
Jess Thibodeau and his team at St. Andrews sure do a great job putting on events. St. Andrews has been hosting concerts since 1980, they have a huge main dancefloor and a 35-foot long bar. Check them out!
Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation