Jimmy Hoffa was like the Wu Tang Clan’s Ol’ Dirty Bastard in the sense that there was no father to his style. He was like that dude who organized things, you know?
Here’s the Six Most Popular Theories for His Disappearance:
– He went snorkeling in concrete flippers in the world’s biggest fishtank
– He’s drinking Polynesian Pearl Divers and living on a Hawaiian island with Tupac, Biggie, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Andy Warhol and Jimi Hendrix
– He was eaten by Howard Cosell’s toupee
– President Gerald Ford zapped Hoffa into the 3rd dimension thru the wormhole of the Bermuda Triangle
– He was bricked up inside Mayor Coleman Young’s mansion and fed a bucket of fish heads once a week
– Mike Ilitch put Jimmy Hoffa in a giant vat of Little Caesar’s Pizza Sauce
On the really real, the most convincing account of Hoffa’s disappearance is not Frank ‘the Irishman’ Sheehan but Richard ‘The Iceman’ Kuklinski.
The Iceman was one of the scariest human beings of all-time. Why would he lie about this? We really don’t know. What do you guys think?
What we do know is that the F.B.I. is releasing a series of illustrated books called “Where’s Hoffa?” which challenges readers to find the Hidden Hoffa. All winners recieve free ramen noodles for life.
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